My teenager just got his driver’s permit.
Want to know what that looks like?
Picture this…an old beat up mini-van complete with smashed in side (thank you drive through car wash), what looks like straight from the hood bullet holes (thank you Maryland road work improvement team), cracked windshield, front license plate dangling from one lone peg, four I-could-do-this-better-than-you backseat drivers, and me clinging to the dashboard fearing for all our lives…
And that was just as he put it in reverse in the empty parking lot!
Yep! This is the kinda stuff they never tell you about when you think about having kids.
The Fear Factor Stuff! Things like…
*105 degree fever in the middle of the night
*Ingesting a box of fireworks TNT
*Popping open a glowstick…in their mouth
*Slamming fingers in car doors
*Spraying Lysol into their mouth just to see what it tastes like
*The dialing of 911 while you’re in the shower
*Smacking their head on the bricks and going blind for a bit
*Holding their breath when their mad until they pass out
*Stitch worthy head wounds from light saber wars
*The hiding out in the dark upstairs until you go to bed so they can jump up and say funny things like”Boo!” (This one makes you say funny things too!)
*Bringing back bed bugs from a school Science trip
*LEARNING HOW TO DRIVE. AT NIGHT. OVER BRIDGES. ON SOME OF THE BUSIEST INTERSTATES IN THE COUNTRY…..
Seriously, where’s the AP Class for All That?
And this my friends, brings us to a lovable Porcine Wonder.
Mercy. Mercy Watson.
She’s pink. She’s inspiring. She loves hot buttered toast. And she really wants a shot at that whole driving thing!