About 18 years ago Chicken and I visited the Grand-Daddy of all water parks..Schliterbahn (New Braunfels).
Ya’ll know where New Braunfels is right?
That’s right, good ‘ol Texas! And in Texas everything is bigger…and hotter! And by everything, I mean EVERYTHING!
To set this story up right you must know one thing first. I was as big a cheap-0 then as I am now! So when I was told I might want to bring a pair of water shoes I was like, “Water Shoes? I don’t need no stinkin water shoes! I’ll go barefoot thank you very much!”
This was my FIRST mistake!
Of course we picked a lovely 106 degree, no cloud in the sky, could make the chile peppers cry day to visit the biggest watering hole for miles around!
That was my SECOND mistake!
After much standing in line (I think I grew a beard) for my 5 second moment of joy being shot down a plastic tube only to have water shot up my nose, I decided it was time for a shade tree and refreshment.
That was my THIRD mistake!
You see, in between the slides, Schlitterbahn was very gracious in laying out a green carpet that didn’t heat up to what was the equivalent of the inside of a Thanksgiving Day oven. But between the rides and the lounging shade tree area…It wasn’t so…
You see where this is going right?
Yep! I stood at the edge of the fire and decided I could surely make it to the shade before the skin actually melted off my feet.. I was quick back then ya know! And I desperately needed an $8 ice cold drink!
That was my FOURTH mistake!
I took off like Jackie Joyner Kersee! I was gonna make it, I was gonna make it!
I got halfway there and I thought I was going to die! Who knew concrete could get that hot?
You know what I did to remedy the situation right?
My FIFTH mistake, and probably one of my biggest, dumbest, most painful decisions EVER! (Except for that time I let my husband talk me into staying home ‘just a bit longer’ when those labor contractions started…but that’s a whole other story!)
Yeah, you know those black inner tubes they have lying around all over the place at water parks?
That’s right! Yours Truly, surely my brain was fried at this point, decided in the blink of an eye, that those shiny, black rubber rings in my path would somehow be cooler than the burning concrete and a relief to my singed feet!
IT. WAS. NOT. SO.
I took one step onto that stupid burning ring of fire and bout busted my butt trying to get off of it and back onto the cool, refreshing concrete!
I remember hitting the ground and there being some rolling, yelping, and quite possibly some cursing involved, but I can’t be sure how I even managed to get to the shade. Survival mode can mess with your head!
I do, however, recall Chicken laughing hysterically as he pondered his future with this brilliant and quick thinking genius! (He’s apparently a comedy show junkie!)
Moral of this story?
Water Shoes are WORTH. EVERY. PENNY….CHEAPO!
Categories: Daily Bliss