I hate shopping for clothes! Why you ask? Well, because apparently I wasn’t hit with the fashion stick so trying to buy outfits that look good is just torture!!!! Let me just give you an idea of what I mean…

Chicken is taking his military Paternity leave (a little late, but I’ll take it) and stayed home with Henry and Nora….Yeah a shopping trip for Mom! I had a coupon for Old Navy and I needed a few new shirts and a dress, so off I went…in my pointy toe, really cute, boots…the ones I can only wear when I don’t have the kids with me. Why you ask? Well, because they are really slippery for some reason and I nearly busted my @&% the last time I wore them while holding a baby….and before you give me any advice, I HAVE tried to scuff them up, even put duct tape on them….still slippery….but cute, so only with no kids!

Alright back to me shopping! Ok, so I’m in Old Navy and I found some cute cardigans, but you know, the thing about cardigans is that you have to find something to go under the cardigan..don’t ask me what, because I have no idea! I tried to find the ‘look’ the manicans had on, but they, of course, didn’t have all the pieces in my size! There were lots of cute blouses..but all too thin to wear alone…again a problem with what to wear under the blouse, or should it be something over? And of course everything must pass the boob test…you know the ‘how quick can I pop a boob out to pacify a hungry baby’ test! *Sorry if this is a little vulgar for some of you, but this is my life!

When I did finally have enough things to try on, and by enough I mean two giant arm loads full (I only get these rare moments to try on clothes every so often so I take full advantage), I waddle myself and my mishmash of clothes to the dressing room to see what fits..or doesn’t (I should not be eating so much leftover birthday cake)! So, once in the dressing room I’m working up a sweat fervently trying everything on and trying to decide what would work with what…I should’ve just flipped a coin, that would’ve been easier and probably just as productive! Anyhow, I finally decided on a few things..couple of shirts, a dress and yes a cardigan… that added up to more than a few dollars (how does that happen?), and I didn’t even try to look at jeans…that would be another 3 hours and I aint got that kinda time…besides, the one pair that I do have I just love..so no need for jeans on this trip!

Well, that WAS the case…you see, those cute pointy toe boots I wore somehow caught on the bottom of my jeans while I was putting them back on and ripped a giant hole right above the hemline!!!! I hope no one else had their kids in there because I’m almost positive I blurted out a wordy dird! Now all those shirts I just tried on that looked so good with my favorite jeans was all for not….See why I’m just not interested in shopping all that much? And don’t think this is the exception, oh heck no, this is the norm for me!

Anyhow, I get out of the store…Yes, I did still buy those shirts…it was too much work to Not get them, and now I’m wondering If I bought the right things and If I can manage to make outfits out of them and how in the heck am I gonna get another pair of jeans?

Well, on the ride home I did remember (that doesn’t happen often..the remembering thing) that I bought these jeans from Coldwater Creek, so when I got home I got online to look them up. You know what happens next right? They are DISCONTINUED!!!!!! I called customer service “please say it ain’t so”…..It is so, but I did get lucky…they had one pair left in my size…they think! So, unless they somehow miscounted or something, I should be getting a new pair of jeans next week….in the meantime I fully intend to keep wearing the old torn ones….No one is really gonna be looking at the bottom of my jeans right? I know, I know….Stacy and Clinton would smack me for that, but I don’t really have any other choice….do I?

And just for the record, I do watch What Not To Wear and I try to emulate what they teach, but somehow I just don’t have it in me! I can put a house/room together, but I have a hard time dressing myself! Why is that? I guess by the time your’e a mother of 4, so long as everyones dressed you’re good…or so you think until you run into THAT mom…You know the one..the one who every time you run into her she’s perfectly put together..hair, makeup, the whole bit….and I’m in my sweats, hairs a mess, not sure if there’s makeup or not, and my kids are in tow..one of which has just pee’d his pants…he was right, he couldn’t hold it, not even for 2 more minutes…thats why I’m on the floor ripping open paper towels to clean the mess up when SHE rounds the corner! So is the story of my life!

I wonder if you could easily clean up pee (it’s always pee with boys isn’t it?) in cute pointy boots?